Me: I’m scared that I don’t speak to Arya in Polish because I don’t want to connect with my past me.
Sanj: I’m scared that because I don’t have any connection to my culture Arya will not have any, she will be like a floating child. That’s why I’m happy you speak to her in Polish sometimes
Me: What do you mean “floating child”.
Sanj: Speaking about floating child, wears running out of toilet paper
Sanj: I constantly keep finding human hair on Bastian’s brush.
[This is Bastian by the way
Me with panic in my eyes, knowing where this conversation is going: “What do you mean… Which do you think is Bastian’s brush”.
Sanj: The one in a flower room on the night table.
Me: THIS IS MYYYY BRUSH!!!
Sanj questioning the choice of sportswear of a dude on TV:
– I would be embarrassed to walk like this in the public
Me: “Well, you did wear a jumper with a hole on your elbow to work”.
Sanj: “Errr, I had to wear that jumper that day because I didn’t have anything else to wear and I did ask my colleagues to walk in front of me so that no one sees the hole”.
In a furniture store, Sanj sees this:
– what’s this? Oh it’s a safe…
Hey, you should have it and keep your phone in it so you won’t be like: “Where’s my phone”.
Silence. Sanj thinking. And then comes:
– oh no, it won’t work because if you get it you will then say: “San-Jay where is the box where I keep my phone”.
Sanj she is playing “Sisters of the Sun” from It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.
Me: What is this song about?
Sanj: It’s just a made-up song.
This is just a tiny example of how my conversations with Sanj look like.
Me to Sanj: “Do you know what Pret calls Americano?”
I’m upset because recently whatever I start with “Do you know.. ” he knows all ready.
So I say: “I can’t even have a conversation with you because you know everything”
Sanj: “No, Agusia you can tell me stuff about SQL but I know about coffee because I was a coffeetician”
I can’t even (and if you know me, you know that I have a face for it). Sanj knows this face so he develops confidently: “Yes. Coffeetician. It might not be a word yet but it will catch on”.
Sanj trying on his new gym clothes (he’s starting his regime this month): “You can’t look like an idiot in a gym, you know. That’s like number one faux pax”.
After approximately 30 seconds I can hear Sanj speaking to himself while taking of the trousers he just put on: “I guess it would help if I was putting them right side on”.
While Arya is sleeping on the plane, Sanj looking at her Teletubby mascot: “Which one is it? La-La? Tinky Winky?…
He sings the jingle from Teletubbies then half way through he reminisces, still holding the mascot in his hands: “When I was at school, I used to argue with my friend which one is the best Teletubby. He claimed the red one, I liked the yellow one. What was his name?”
O.K. I didn’t answer because I was still digesting his first words – the part “when I was at school” and thinking: “right, so like 7, 8 years old…
Sanj continued, oblivious of my calculations: “Some people at high school were dating girls, some were thinking which college to choose. I was debating about Teletubbies.
– High school?!!?!?!? – it is very likely the whole plane heard me.
It might seem irrelevant comment but it very much is super relevant: – love is a funny thing – it’s simply only:time and place in life. Nothing else. Time and place.
If Sanj’s and my paths ever crossed in high school I would probably never even know his name and Sanj would, very likely hate me or my face would, very likely be a type of a mean girl or an opposite of anyone who he would feel attracted to. It’s our childhood and teenage hood that drags all the sh** in the rest of our lives.
Time and place.
The Moodles dilute milk with water for Arya to not to drink too much of it. Tonight Arya, again, enjoying her milk shot before her goodnight sleep.
Sanj: Didn’t she drink too much milk today?
Me: We dilute it everyday and today, in total it’s her one full bottle.
Sanj: But shouldn’t she hold on to the bottle?
Me: Sanj, I really don’t mind that. We grown up constantly hold on to something, so why can’t babies and children if it creates positive feelings? Some people collect stamps, some people smoke, some people eat the same food for breakfast for 20 years…
Sanj: One guy at my school used to bring peanut butter jelly sandwich every day… No, wait. It was me… But this guy was bringing something. The same thing every day…
Yes, I’m sure it was something… And I’m sure it was “some guy”…
This could be put into the basket of “I don’t know what to respond, other than: “Do you even think what you’re saying”.
We are going to a cafe for afternoon tea which I booked a few days ago.
Sanj: Have you already paid for this?
Me: Nooo, it’s a cafe. You don’t buy tickets for it. You pay for the food you eat.
Sanj: Do you know how much it is?
Me: It’s £6 per person.
Sanj: Including Arya?
The problem here is that he doesn’t understand where he went wrong.
Me: No, I don’t believe I’m attractive to you.
Sanj: Yes, I AM attractive to you!
Think before you speak, Mr Moodley. Think before you speak.
I’ve got millions of these.
I was telling Sanj about Arya and my workday. Sanj -listening attentively, even starting a dialogue with me. Then, suddenly he walks out saying: “Hold on, I need to brush my teeth. Don’t change the channel”.
I literally was curious.
Sanj, with this “it’s obvious” voice: Because I’m buffering for the Walking Dead.
Me: Oh my god; I forgot all about the Walking Dead!!!!!
Sanj: Why do you think I’m sitting here with with you talking to you… I’m killing time…
Awhh, so romantic
Me: Can you see that my hair is grey?
[Earlier I sprayed my hair silver, just so]
Sanj: No. Why? Are you trying to be like me? A robot?
Me: Yes, I’m trying to get closer to you this way
Sanj: Can I have the cookie. Let’s have half half and we will both have quarter quarter?
Me, slowly, expecting explanation: Let’s have half half , quarter quarter????
Sanj: I changed my mind half way through.