Failure • Guilt • Mum

It’s been 7.5 months since the second one welcomed this world. She’s already crawls and stands, the older one – climbs and I fall on my face…

I’ve been back from my maternity leave two months and today I’m on sick leave today feeling exhausted, with massive headache and belly aches and I’ve got my mum who helps me.

And yes I do feel like I’m a failure. Shall I write down the failure anxiety list:

• I don’t spend as much time with Ghaya as I did when she was a baby

• I use my maternity leave on Mondays each week to have at least one extra day with Ghaya but that means that I’m not working as hard as others

• I can’t stay longer at work because I pick up Arya from school

• My mum helps me because I can’t manage on my own or afford nursery for Ghaya

• I drink wine in the evenings

• I’m almost 40 and I haven’t achieved my career goals yet

• I feel too weak to carry my baby

The list continues but it’s pretty boring. To the observer all blurs into one same-all same-all.

To me every single bullet point is just a bullet. And it’s got a point. The point where feelings of failure and guilt max out and devour the soul.

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Are You a Good Mum feeding Your Baby Good Food?

Do you feed your toddler healthily?

I’m very much into healthy eating but I think this obsession is going much too far. One thing everyone needs to understand – very often (for example in children’s case as well as pregnant women) it’s hormones who dictate and “force” us into what we choose to eat. There are children who eat a lot at some point of their lives because their growth spurt is different than those who don’t feel the need to eat so much. As long as it’s all monitored and looked at together with burning calories through healthy activities like sport, don’t eat junk food or sweets everyday, it’s all good, I think.Now let’s look at pregnant women- for goodness sake – it is so overwhelming “eat this don’t eat that” eat healthily if you care for your baby. Do these people who give this amazing advice know what craving is? My sister was throwing up whenever she even smelled any food and the only thing she could eat was toffee sweeties. Bad mother. Horrible mother!!! When I was breastfeeding the only thing I could eat was chocolate (and I am not a chocolate fan). I stopped caring for these over exaggerated warnings and instructions. Fed up

Again – life is balance