Last Day in Nursery

Today was very emotional. Well, the whole week was but when you see a teacher and a driver loading toys onto a truck in front of your daughter’s first nursery you instantly burst out crying. You wonder if your child understands what’s happening,when passing corridors with walls bare without signs and posters, toys lined up on the tables as if waiting for a new owner. With her usual cheerful face, greeting her teachers, only this time throwing a bunch of flowers into the director’s hands, Arya started her last day in the Marble Arch Nursery. Because some prick priest (sorry, that’s what I feel) had to claim the space in the basement and eventually won’t the battle with the nursery director for whatever activity he wants to carry out there. 

Arya, hugging and kissing, was she aware that this was her last day?

When we entered the classroom to take a photo, Arya looked so comfortable and confident there looking at me and Sanj with the “this is my hood” spark in her eye.

Well, no more sweetheart and one only hopes that mums of your friends will let them see you from time to time after the nursery closes this evening.

So many sleepless nights – will she enjoy the new nursery? How long will the settling in last? Will she remember? 

Thank you Marble Arch Nursery for massively contributing to our daughter’s great development. For all the friendships she’s made with adults and children. 


Working Mum

Sending Arya to a nursery was the best thing I had done for years. Yes, that best thing instantly flushed our savings and pleasure expenditures down the drain but this is the very example of money well-spent. 

Staying at home with my baby, all by myself (because all the relatives – overseas), I would never be able to ensure so much play&learn variety, social interaction and perfectly guarded routine as the nursery does. Parenting is challenging, especially in countries like this one, where “family” buzz word is far behind “business”, “money” and “entertainment” and don’t even get me started on the meaning of mothers in the western word. I therefore need to charge batteries for evenings, nights, weekends and mornings. The problem is where and how do I do that? I work – 5 days a week, most days I take Arya to crèche and collect her, all must be done on time (not a minute too long at work), running up the underground stairs with the buggy (equality London my ass), on the train I turn into an entertainment centre by feeding Arya with snacks, singing, reading, holding my iPhone in a video position watching Bing, Mickey Mouse of Sofia the First. Sleep time is at 21:00 and she still wakes up at 6:00 (there is no “weekend” in the vocabulary of a child). There’s probably a 30 minute window when my husband and I are alone and TV is our saviour. We, very likely, tell each other how our day was but I very vaguely register his stories and vice versa. That’s why we started going on dates (I will write about it in another post)…

I don’t remember when last I cooked a meal. Oh wait, I lie, I made a cauliflower pizza and energy bombs on Sunday. But I must regretfully say – I lost my cooking mojo and my husband is currently holding the baton doing an amazing job as a family chef. And here I must add that the father’s contribution is amazing! I would say we both are awesome parents and are doing a great job. Sanj is engaged in Arya’s life and upbringing 100% and I hope all mother have or will eventually find a partner like that. Arya will better turn out great:-)

Being a working mother means that you’re charging your batteries while spending your energy sitting in front of the computer. But I need it. For my own sanity, development and household budget. I need it for Arya’s sake too. 

Here’s the list of cons:
£1500 a month is out of your pocket.

Can the government do something about t, please?m

And here’s the list of all the benefits of being a working mother with a baby in a nursery :

  • We both cherish the moments with each other more and as a mother I’m less frustrated if something goes wrong (because it doesn’t happen often during the day)
  • Arya is stimulated socially, intellectually, emotionally and god knows how else
  • Arya learns from the early age about work, work-life balance and routine
  • I progress in my career (although coming back from maternity leave hinders this objective, which I will write about soon)
  • Cash and more cash (if the above is happening)
  • I’ve got more energy to spend quality time with Arya
  • I’m less frustrated if something goes wrong

It’s Getting Better but Still Not in a Happy Place

It’s been a hard time recently. An end of an era, a transition time… Transition time is a substitute word for tears for every mother – tears of frustration, sadness, uncertainty, confusion… But after all this there’s always a smile and a sigh of relief. Until a moment of nostalgia sneaks in. 

This is exactly what’s going on right now in my life. 

I’m all a bundle of nerves. It’s the second week (a three day-er) of my baby girl attending a nursery and I’m so proud of her but at the same time stressing every morning I drop her off there. The “bye, bye”got a big impact on her. Such a huge impact I can’t even watch. The horseshoe on her face when she hears these two words – I can’t stand it. It made me think that, no, saying “bye bye” to her when I’m leaving is the worst idea. I will just give her a hug and say I’m coming back.

These two words “bye, bye”… Even a grown up has issues digesting them when parting with a beloved person. Why would you expect more from a toddler. 

She’s been brave for the past few days but no smile on her face still kills me. And here’s the selfish thought – it’s me who leaves her there and her daddy is still the best. He comes home and plays with her.

Now I’m tasting the bitter taste of motherhood – will I ever be the one who A appreciates. Yes, call me selfish but I’m just a human.